...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
