My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
