We got so high we made milksteak
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
