Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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