it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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