apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Are we still banned from the library?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
