he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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