she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize