So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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