Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
