do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
