i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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