I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
