remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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