We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
