I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Randomize
