I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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