I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
