everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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