real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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