Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
