i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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