Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
