I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
