i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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