He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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