There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
