you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
