it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
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All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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