hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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