What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
