Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
