I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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