absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
