i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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