just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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