thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
