I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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