Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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