Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
