Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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