dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
