If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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