K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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