my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just google imaged poop.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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