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My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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