you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
