that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
