i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i think im in europe. pls send help
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
