He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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