ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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