I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
