this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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