new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
