Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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