her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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